Where is the hickey?
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
