i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
vagina is talking i cant
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
