Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize