Define "chronic" masturbator.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
false alarm. still invincible.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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