Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
