i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
