Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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