and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
