so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
