I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
