It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize