Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
