he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Randomize
