Don't you send me to vm
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
