dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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