do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
