I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
