Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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