I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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