the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
how can u be prego again
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
