just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
