a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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