it's too hot outside to masturbate.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
