she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
