please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
farters have to be the big spoon...
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
