so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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