yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
