Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
