is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
