When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize