There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
