why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize