a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
