i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I'm passing your future prison.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
