Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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