I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
