Your tits are I can't wait for
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
