Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
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