guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
