I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
