Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
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