Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
