she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
