Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
At least make sure they are 18
Why
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
