So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
