I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
