I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
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