He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
