Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
