the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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