We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
