dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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