If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
So here I am, sexting at work.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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