I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
You work out of a Hotel?
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
