Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize