Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
