in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
