I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
