Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
