I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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