I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
