Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
