I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I pour the whiskey from now on
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
