So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
