Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
