nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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