Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
