Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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