Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
