The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize