What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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